life and donuts

I saw this on Reddit today and I really liked it. I've kind of been wondering how I would handle eventual questions from Li'l Lil that normally parents use religion to explain. I hope that this will help.

I can honestly understand why religion is so pervasive in our society. It helps answer the tough questions that otherwise may have somewhat discouraging answers. It's so much easier to call something "God's Plan" or believe in Heaven/Hell to give life purpose. But sometimes it's actually a relief to me that there isn't a plan. I'm not screwing up my life unless I personally believe that I am. If I don't achieve anything that has an enormous impact on the world, that's okay. Very few people actually do. And while I can strive to make the world a better place as best as I can, I'm not failing anyone by following my chosen path.

This realization is sort of what made me change my life plan when I was younger. I always wanted to be a writer, and I still do. But my priorities changed. My main goal became to have a family because to me that's what life is about. In high school, I would have scoffed at the notion of becoming a stay at home mom but now I would do it in a heartbeat if we could afford it. I know that having a good job and a college education is important because it makes life comfortable....and I still feel guilt over dropping out. But honestly, for the most part I'm still happy with the decision I made 6 years ago (or is it 7 years?).

But I'm veering off course. Essentially, having a kid has really made me think about all the things that were handled with religion when I grew up. If babycakes decides she wants to be Christian, so be it. Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, whatever. I'll support her. But it's not like husband and I will be hiding our views from her. So when she asks the tough questions, what am I going to say? It's easy in theory to say that I will just be honest with her and not sugarcoat the facts of life. However when I have a four year old crying over the death of a pet or family member, what can I say that will provide comfort in her very safe little world? Or am I not supposed to supply comfort? Should I just tell her like it is? It's also going to be tricky to balance this with what she will inevitably learn/hear about when she's at her grandparents' houses. Should I treat God like Santa Claus? Tell her he exists to make it less confusing when her grandparents or classmates bring it up and then let her work out for herself that it's just a bunch of bull?
She's going to ask questions about religion that I will have to answer too. Like how do I explain Christmas? I feel like a hypocrite still celebrating it even though I'm not a Christian anymore, despite re-labeling it Secular Christmas in our house. Easter without religion doesn't even exist. But I love holidays! The religious stuff never meant a lot to me as a kid anyway. It's more of celebrating the season. Easter = spring, fertility, etc. I want to give her an Easter basket but what will I say the holiday is about? I don't want her to be a little ignorant dum-dum. I guess I can always explain things like, "Now, lots of people celebrate _____ because they believe that ________ happened. Your dad and I don't really believe that, but we celebrate this season anyway because candy/parties/presents/food." Haha. Just kidding. Sort of.
This stuff has just been weighing on me lately. I know that the number of atheists/agnostics in the world just keeps increasing as time goes on and technology advances, but in our immediate world there are very few. Even those who aren't practicing generally have some vaguely Christian beliefs lingering around in the background of their lives.

This has been a bit heavier than all my other posts, and I apologize. I didn't really mean to go off on a tangent, but it's been on my mind. Since I'm pretty sure the majority of my readership comes from family, I've also probably alienated any readers I may have.

I just want to do right by my loinfruit without compromising our family's values. Which I suppose is essentially the definition of parenting, when you get down to it.

resolutions? resolutions.

I had a baby! Holy shit. I have a rare free moment because husband agreed to watch her for the night and I want to write because whiskey.
Not that it counts because it was Fireball. And only two shots. It's not like I have self-control or anything, it's more like that's all that was left in the bottle. Alas.

I've really only been writing in here if I happened to have to have a recipe/theme of some kind, but unfortunately my once semi-creativity has been replaced by sheer unadulterated laziness. I tried working on my novel yesterday. God, was it cringey. I only got through re-reading/editing a few pages before I had to stop. I really want to finish it and everything, but it's looking pretty bleak.

Maybe I could type up some New Years resolutions for this year? Usually I don't bother because I know I won't follow through, but I'm a mother now so that must mean I'm responsible, right? Right??

1. Don't get pregnant again.
This is a big one. Seriously, Natalie...don't do it. You can't handle it. Maybe in two, three or ten years, but NOT this year. Just no.

2. Lose some weight.
I don't care how much, really. Just some. Preferably enough to fit into my pre-maternity clothes. That's my main motivation. As comfortable as yoga pants are, there are certain social functions where they are frowned upon. Weddings, funerals, theatre shows, etc.

3. Write 4,000 more words in aforementioned novel.
Currently at 23,667. So basically I only have 1/3 written. So this word count isn't even enough to bring me up to halfway done, but I like to keep resolutions realistic and therefore actually attainable.

4. Finally get the hang of winged eyeliner.
For someone pretty obsessed with makeup, this has always eluded me. Not sure why when there are n00bs out there who do better than I. This year I will conquer it. My Everest.

5. Take the Christmas tree down before February.
This is asking a lot, I know. I don't know why I think I can accomplish it with a baby when I never was even able to without one. But perhaps this is the year.

6. Eat more *real* meals as opposed to the pre-packaged crap I gravitate towards.
Because....mother, responsibility, setting a good example, healthy lifestyle, blah blah blah.

7. Stop eating so much Caesar Salad/Crazy Bread from Little Caesar's.
Actually, no. I take it back. That stuff is the highlight of my effing week.

and finally....

8. Keep the house mostly clean consistently.
Because with a baby, I have learned that people are about 90% more likely to stop by unexpectedly.
There are other reasons why this will improve my general quality of life, but this is the primary motivation. Gotta keep up the illusion that we're not slovenly.

Welp, that's all I suppose. Back to watching the Woody Harrelson episode of SNL. It's probably my favorite of the season...and I'm saying that almost sober! (the two shots didn't take long to wear off, unfortunately.)

So...

<3 natalie